Friday, March 26, 2010

Judgy Wudgy Was A Bear

I'm going to admit this, and I'm not sure where I picked up this mentality to begin with, but I changed my stance on this 5 SECONDS after I went back to work after having Clara.

Growing up, my mom stayed home with me and my sister. Now, when you're little, you do not realize how lucky you are that you get to stay home with your mommy. I never experienced day care and the only time I was ever away from her was when her and my dad had date nights.

So, fast forward like 20 years. I swore to my hubby when we got married that I would stay home with our children...I just couldn't see it any other way. He was obviously fully supportive of that dream. And, I'd heard my parents for years say that they felt this generation put more emphasis on their careers and less emphasis on their families. Now, while that may be true in some cases, I have learned that I do not believe that to be a true statement a majority of the time. Hardly ever actually.

Families work because they have to. They make that difficult decision based on what is best for their family. Each family is different; different goals, different financial circumstances, etc. etc. I don't think anyone leaves their little babies with a big smile every morning and says "Wow, I'm so glad I get to work for 9 hours today." I read a story yesterday from a mom who works outside the home. She dropped her daughter off at daycare and witnessed a heart breaking moment. A little girl in her daughter's class was clinging to her daddy's tie with huge tears rolling down her face, begging him to stay with her that morning. The father, obviously becoming emotional himself, took her little hand and headed back out the front door. When the teacher ran after them, he told her they were going to have a daddy/daughter day instead. So, it's not just the mom's who struggle with this...daddy's make sacrifices too!

Also, the decicions my parents made in some ways affected my ability to be home. For example, had both of my parent's worked, I am assuming it would have been more likely that I wouldn't have any college debt right now and that debt is BIG part of the reason I am at work. However, with that said, I know that everything happens for a reason and I am so grateful for the time I had with her growing up. I know that God had it in His plan for me to work right now and he's faithfully providing and encouraging our family daily! :) While working outside the home is challenging, it is also rewarding! (Also, being a stay at home mommy is crazy hard work too...just in different ways I'm assuming!)

And, moving to my last point, alot of this generation did go to college (compared to our parent's generation) and it is difficult to give up a career that you got, because of a degree that you worked so hard for!! Its a catch 22. Right??? Dave's probably laughing because I never use that phrase correctly! :)

Anyways, I guess what I'm getting at is that we should all be supporting eachother, all the time, no matter what, because let's be is HARD enough being a parent, let alone fighting other people's opinions about the decisions we make as parents!!

However, I am sorry because I did have a complex about this before. I did think parent's who both worked outside of the home were choosing their career's over their kiddos...but that is simply not the case...not one bit...not one ounce. So, to all of you who I made that assumption about...I am sorry. Very sorry. Very very sorry!!

So, to conclude, judgy wudgy was a bear...and judgy wudgy's name was Amber. Shoot.

Sawwwyyyy Guysssss!

1 comment:

mama brehm said...

Amber --
I don't get why there's such a division between a lot of working moms and SAHMs...each thinks the other has it easier, each believes the other thinks their choice is wrong... it's just so ridiculous. You are so right, both are hard because ALL of us are parents. And, there is such empahasis on being successful in your career these days that it feels like you're doing something wrong by "not using your degree". There is no right or wrong... just different paths.

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