Friday, May 14, 2010

Bird Poop

I'm going to preface this blog post by saying that is there is bird poop falling through the air anywhere in my vicinity, there is about a 97% chance I will get hit by it. In fact, about 5 years ago at my college graduation I was driving to commencement with my mom and sister and felt a little "wetness" oozing down the right side of my face. Come to find out, yes, bird poop actually hit me THROUGH THE SUNROOF OF A MOVING DODGE NEON WHILE DRIVING DOWN A TREELESS STREET AT ABOUT 25 MILES PER HOUR. Luck is not on my side when it comes to bird poop. Seriously.

So now to this morning...I'd had one of those mornings where every clothing malfunction that could happen, did. I got Clara poo on one pair of pants. I threw a wrinkly pair with water on them in the dryer (you all know that trick, right? :) ) only to come to find out the leg had been stuck in the dryer door twisting and crumpling it even more, so when I went to pull it out the entire pair looked like it had been in a train wreck. So finally, I threw on a post pregnancy outfit. I was 15 lbs heavier then and it was from Fall so I didn't really want to wear what felt like poop brown in the spring but didn't have a choice. I didn't have time to shower (sorry if that's grosse to some of you, but I'm a new mom and sometimes they just don't happen in the morning) so my hair was all slicked to my head and frizzy. Needless to say I was a little desperate to get home over my lunch and figure this mess that was myself out!!

So, I headed home, found a nice ironed outfit, re-did my hair, put on make-up that consisted of more than smudged eye-liner fromt he night before and headed back out the door in about 34 minutes exactly and then all of a sudden....

PLOP!!!!! But I was Here!!!! (It literally missed me by like 1 millisecond!!)

*Okay, so this dealio won't let me draw it out for you but pretend the poo is where the "PLOP" was on the sidewalk but I was 6 inches behind it. ;)

And so that's how I know...God is watching over us and he saved me from what he only knows in typically an inevitable situation for me when it comes to bird poop!! :)

1 comment:

Bird Removal New Jersey said...

Those birds probably do have those books!! Their poop is all over the place.

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