Clara Grace has always been one to enjoy doing things on her own, at her own leisure. She does not enjoy being rocked; could definitely live without any snuggles and prefers to do most things on her own if possible. Me and Dave always call her Ms. Independent. Actually, we always sing "Ms. Independent" and go all Kelly Clarkson 2002 on her! :) . Most momma's loved nursing. I closed my eyes and hoped for the best each time she started because even though she was hungry, she didn't want to be held close. It was more me trying to feed her while she squirmed back and forth in my arms and moved those teensey fingers back and forth scratching my side with her precious, yet oh-so-delicate-sharp nails. So, needless to say the moment was far from precious, definitely not a bonding moment, and memorable but only in the sense that I never wanted to think about those moments because of the sheer difficulty of them.
So, enter yesterday morning. I entered her bedroom and quietly leaned over her crib. Slowly I removed the blanket she was holding from between her fingers to gently wake her. I am so sad that I have to wake her each day but I am a working mom and me and my baby have to wake up before we would like.
She slowly started blinking her eyes as I reached over to pick her up and cradle her close to me. I carried her to the rocker and gave her a bottle. I drew her up next to me as close as possible and wrapped her lightly worn yellow blanket (sent from Grandma Guderian) around her. It is her absolute favorite blankie.
As she finished her bottle I prepared for the squiggle/squirm fest that typically follows while she insists that I put her down and help her stand because she does not like to sit lately. But, for some reason, this morning was different. I set her bottle on the end table and she just laid in my arms...so content. I wasn't prepared and in the back of my mind I knew I didn't have any extra time to cuddle with her but a wild herd of elephants couldn't have interrupted me in this moment with my daughter.
I just stared at her while I rocked her for a while.
Then I softly talked to her and told her how much I loved her.
I held my hand up and she carefully reached for my fingers.
And then I heard what every mother's heart longs to hear...
In the stillest, smallest, sweetest voice....
"Ma ma ma ma ma ma" over and over again
It appears Ms. Independent still needs her momma sometimes. Yesssssss. I will love that moment forever....For.Ever.