Monday, July 19, 2010

The Toilet Seat Lid

Scene: Grocery Store @ about 8:00 p.m. last night.

Me, D, Clara & Aunt Paige had just finished up buying literally everything at Wal-Mart shopping and were headed out to Princess Snow White (My Trailblazer). We seriously had so many things because you know how that goes when you're moving into a new house...the grill breaks, you lost certain gadgets and still hadn't remembered toothpaste etc. So anyways, we literally had 3 cart fulls of stuff so naturally we needed to try and smush as much into the back of Princess Snow White as possible. Well I was second in the train of carts and all of a sudden I see D pull out a toilet seat lid from the back of the SUV (now let me tell you this was not a new toilet seat...that I would have been fine with... but this was a used one from one of the toilets in our house that was broketn).

                                                         The Culprit


So naturally I freaked out and yelled "why on earth is there a used toilet seat in the back of my car!" calmly asked him "why is there a used toilet seat lid in my car?"

Well at this point I really didn't want to make a scene but I was mortified that he would have that disgusting thing rolling around all this time in my car and I didn't even know about it! I mean who knows or wants to even think about what the previous owner of a house had on his toilet seats!! He then explained that he had to leave it in there because it was a weird size and he was trying to find a place that had a match...I still don't understand why he didn't just leave it in his car but that is another issue for another day I figured. All I knew is that I wanted it out of my car!!!

Meanwhile, Paige was calmly loading everything into the car trying to not get involved until D decided to run over and freak his sister out by pretending to rub it on her arm.

D: "Watch out for the poop Paige!! Poop! Poop! Poop!" (Oh yes, we are mature individuals in this family) :)

While this was going on, I was hurridly rearranging grocery items so I could get some empty sacks to put that disgusting thing in and throw it away for good and to save poor Paige!!

So, D finally laid it back down and I carefully tried to maneuver it into triple layered grocery sacks making sure not to touch even one little piece of it when all of a sudden I noticed something. Oh yes everyone...you know what I'm talking about...it did in fact have a mysterious substance on the side of it, and in all of D's fun he had looked at the top and the bottom of the seat but failed to notice what was on the side.

At this point I showed my newfound discovery to D and all of a sudden that honorey smile disappeared.

D: "Oh my gosh...I've been carrying that thing bare handed all through Home Depot and Lowe's and showing it to their employees!!!!!!"

We all started laughing sooooo hard because at that point there was just not too much he could do about it and he had to live with the fact that he had been carrying around a poo toilet seat all around town without even covering it!!  Then, it was even cuter because we looked over and Clara was rocking back and forth in the cart laughing hysterically in her cute little wrinkeled up nose, baby way.

So my friends, I will be sanitizing the back of my car from top to bottom tonight which totally will not be fun, but my poor hubby has to live with the fact that he carried around a poo toilet seat lid to who knows how many different places in KC never realizing what he was actually holding!!

So, in true "Big Daddy" movie quotes fashion...."I win." :)

2 comments:

Stephanie M. Page said...

=) =) Thanks so much for your sweet comments! It makes me so happy that God is using what I write.

I really like your blog too!!! =) =) =)

Marcus + Jenilee said...

LOL!!! This story had me rolling! Seriously! That is tooooooo funny! lOL! poo! Haha! Poor Dave :(

Love your blog!

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