I've been feeling like I should write this for a while now and whenever I feel like that I know there must be a reason. There is always a reason...for everything. I really believe that with every part of my heart.
I started thinking about this a few weeks ago. I was given the link to a blog which literally left me feeling depressed. Not sad about the situation but truly depressed. It actually took me a good hour to snap out of it. And I got to thinking, if just reading some of her posts and her "about me" left me that terribly upset, I can't imagine what she must be feeling each and every day when she wakes up?
You see her blog, the picture at the top shows her two daughters, and then it has a spot with the two names of her babies that died. So every single person who visits her blog sees that she had two miscarriages instantly. The more I read, the more I realized, every single post, circled around these two lost children and the sadness she walked through. It was truly difficult to read. Every comment left always stated their sadness for her and how sorry they were.
Now, I in no way am trying to minimize the pain of a miscarriage. They are devastating and they hurt every muscle and every bone in your body. They really do. Unfortunately, they are terribly common and statistically they say 1 in 5 girls has to walk through this pain in their life, but as I wrote in the opening paragraph I believe there is a reason for everything. I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt God uses each and every painful experience to draw us closer to Him and to shape our character. I don't understand it, but I don't try to. I think you can get into some dangerous territory when you try and "understand" everything God does in your life. We just can't. As He says "As my ways are higher than your ways so are my thoughts higher than your thoughts." I think it's pretty clear in that verse alone, we can only see a teensey, insy, little minuscule part of his amazing plan for the world. So, it's just easier to trust, because believe me, I've tried to understand it and it's exhausting and unproductive!
Now, with that said, learning to trust I've found is about 14,567,388,781 times harder than it sounds, but it is a key component of absolutely every single aspect of your life. I've also found that I believe God won't take you on this journey until you're really surrendered to His will. There were so many areas I had to work through laying down before I could even begin the journey of trusting. I mean, it doesn't really count if you are say suffering from an addiction and saying, "I totally trust you God, but I just need to hold onto this addiction because it is comforting while I'm learning to trust." I think that kind of negates the trusting, don't you? Unfortunately, it just doesn't work.
So, to the girl who lost her two little angels, I hoped she'd soon find a place of healing so she can see there was a purpose behind the pain. I prayed that she would be able to give up this excruciatingly difficult situation and trust that the One who made her was also going to walk with her as she moved forward through the pain to a place of peace.That she knew her two babies could look down from heaven and see their mom walking with hope in her heart and not living in the pain of the past.
So, that is why I think, disasters should not define you, but REFINE you. I hope that each and every time I am forced to walk through a situation that feels impossible, that I am able to come out a stronger, more peaceful, more hopeful, more loving individual who can use that experience to help face the next difficult situation with more grace and more confidence than before.