Friday, July 30, 2010

Friday Blue Light Special ...TWO POSTS :)

First - New Friend Friday!!!



New Friend Fridays



Second - Show Us Your Life - Testimony
Show Us Your Life with Kelly's Korner


At first I thought...well I can't write about this because I don't want to offend anyone because I would never want my beliefs to make someone else uncomfortable. And then I thought...well if I write about this people who know me from high school or college...maybe even now because lets face it *this girl* is far from perfect..they may say..."Seriously Amber??? You're going to write to us about when you became a christian....okayyy mrs. hypocrite pants!!" (Inside joke here...Leslie & Alina LOL) :) But then I realized wait...that's all a part of my testimony so here we go!!

My parents both loved Jesus and I remember asking him into my heart at a very young age. My sunday school teacher was talking about heaven & hell that morning and being that I was only 5 all I knew was that I didn't want to end up in any place other than heaven. I remember laying on my bed looking up at my glow in the dark star pasties on the ceiling (Remember those?? :) and telling Jesus that I didn't understand it all but I believed he died for me and asked him to come into my heart. And...even to this day...I cannot explain it but I felt different. I felt like something truly monumental happened in that moment and I could never describe it but I just remember thinking....THAT WAS COOL!! LOL:) (because remember I was 5)

Fast forward to 8th grade. I went to a christian school. I was completely surrounded by people who had the same beliefs as I did, and my world felt safe.
But my mom decided we needed to move back to her hometown(because my dad had passed away from cancer and she wanted to be closer to her family). That's the moment everything changed.

While I was excited about seeing my grandparents, cousins and everyone more often I could never have guessed the pain that would follow switching schools as a 14 year old girl. Middle school girls can be cruel. I still carry scars from some of the things girls in my class said to me. They didn't like the fact I was from a bigger city. They didn't like what I believed and I was completely alone. It was a very very dark time in my life.

So, after an entire year of crying every night, pleading with my mom to let me go back to Lincoln Christian and yelling at the God who I believed must have hated or forgotten me, I gave up. I felt forced into an environment where I was ridiculed for what I believed instead of embraced by it. I simply didn't know how to handle it. You know the funny part was...the main reason I was ridiculed, was that I smiled too much...I was too happy...I didn't swear or drink and I.just.didn't.fit.in. And ironically...Jesus said..."The world will hate you for what you believe, but be strong for I will be with you." But hate me they did....

So I stopped trying. I gave in. And I didn't look back for almost 10 years. Now, I could never say I regret moving because I made the most amazing friends after that year, who I love with all my heart. Friends that you willl still laugh so hard that your abs are sore the next day, memories I wouldn't trade for millions of dollars ...but what I do wish I could have changed was the fact that deep inside...way way hidden beneath the girl I was trying to be after I moved...there was still a girl who missed Jesus. A girl who longed for the peace and joy that hope that came when you were seeking Him...not trying to silence Him.

Thankfully...there is grace. And that grace was shown when God brought D into my life. He helped me find that girl that I had longed to be for the last 10 years. And he has never stopped loving me for exactly who I am. Now...I know many people say "Religious people have no fun." Well that statement I probably would agree with...but I am not religious. I am a christian. And all that means is that I believe God sent his son to save me and if I believe that simple fact I get to spend eternity with him. And I think anyone who knows me knows that I have LOTS of fun!! LOL! No seriously..I do.

 I think sometimes you hear that someone is a christian and immediately think they are weird. Well...if I'm weird, so be it because I have more joy, more hope and more love in my life now than I have ever had before. Sure there are still crappy things that happen..me and D still fight just like anybody else...I still totally have days or things I've said at work that I wish I could take back...and did I walk in to wake up Clara this morning to find that her diaper had exploded all over her sheets?? Oh yes I did my friends lol:) But...the difference I see is in how my heart handles these situations. And I truly cannot explain this unless you know what I mean...but there is a peace. Like unexplainable love that I feel. Freedom.

My dad used to tell us, people at his work would say "Bob...you know I love you and respect what you believe but what if you're wrong?? And my dad would say in love..."Well If I'm wrong...I have nothing to lose...but if you're wrong...you have everything to lose."

I love that quote...because it's true. So if I'm wrong and there is no heaven and earth is all there is. Well...it's not like I'm out a thing. I am happy, excited, joyful about my future and trying to love life no matter what is thrown my way. And do I think everyone should experience what I'm talking about???ABSOLUTELY! But I also know it is a personal decision and probably not the most popular one by worldly standards.The one thing I can assure you is if you ever feel that emptiness..or that there just might be something more out there...it will change your life. I promise. 100% life change.  

So there you have it...that is my testimony...and I am soooo excited I finally shared it with all of you!!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Should I or Shouldn't I?

I was at my favorite QT today. I'm not joking when I say that I am seriously friends with all of the employees there and have grown a fond affinity for each of them. One of the guys is literally a 7 foot tall jamaican man and because we are friends he opened up a 12 pack of Dr.Pepper and let me buy a single can since I couldn't round up $1.16 for the bottle. lol! :) I lost my debit card and have been buying everything with my spare change which is actually quickly becoming a fun little adventure to see how much change I can find at our house or in my car each day. Moving on....

While I was in line, the girl in front of me was buying cigars and cigarettes. The cigars were weird but I figured "Amber...its her lungs and none of your business" and started making sure I had the right amount of change for my Diet DP. :) Well as she was picking up her things she turned to the side and guess what I saw....





Oh yes...she was really prego. But in that moment I all of a sudden just wanted to hug her and beg her not to smoke for the sake of her baby!!! Every part of my mommy self was just trying to think of anything to say to her or to figure out how on earth to ask her not to smoke those and just wait...she couldn't have had more than 1 month left and these were the most crucial months. I thought about telling her I would pay her to just wait but I figured that was pretty offensive and how would I know unless I followed that with  "then can I move in with you??" So...that option was out...


And I desperately looked around hoping there was someone she was buying them for but there was no one and she even started to open the package as she was walking out of the store to her car. She cracked the window when she climbed in....so I knew...that baby had been smoking for 9 months as well.

I know it's terribly hard to quit and I'm sure she didn't enjoy the fact that she wasn't able too..but I think if there is any time in the whole world when you should try with every ounce of your being to stop smoking...wouldn't a baby be the best motivational factor ever????

I don't know...I suppose I really shouldn't have said anything because I can't imagine anything I would say would have been "new news" but what would you guys have done?? Do you think you should or shouldn't speak up in those situations??


Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Top 2 Tuesday

It's been a while since I've been able to take part in Top 2 Tuesday and I'm so excited to be back!!! So here we go....



 

1. Lancome Hypnose


I seriously get so many comments on this perfume. It is a really great perfume for a night on the town (That sounded like they way my mom would say it but you know what I mean lol!)

2. Victoria Secret - Pink



This perfume is sooooo perfect for summer! It has a really clean, fresh smell and the best part is you can totally use more than 2 sprays because it's not as strong as normal perfumes. So, I always like douse myself in it after laying out, etc if I don't have time for a shower and need to run an errand or something. That's not grosse right???? Sure it's not. :)




Monday, July 26, 2010

From The Crib Of Clara Grace (Edition 6)

Hey there guys!! I got to ride a merry-go-round for the first time ever this past week!! It was craaazzzzyyy fun!


My Aunt Paige was with us because she stayed with us the wholeeeeeee week and we had soooooo much fun!
Mom held me the whole time even though I told her I was just finnnneeeee by myself. I'm not going to lie though...I love my momma so I decided it was okay if she helped me on the dolphin dude. :)

 
                  I really enjoyed watching how the little dolphin worked....woooooahhhhhhh mom look at how high I'magoing!!!
Then, while Aunt Paige rode the panda bear me and mom waved at the crowd and pretty much any body who walked by...and The Sunglasses Hut and The Hollister storefront...okay so I waved at everything but I really like to wave.....mmmmmk? :)


Until next time...Clara Grace...signing out!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Sugarbears are under the weather over here.....

We could use some extra prayers over at our house today please. Clara once again has a double ear infection and she just finished her 3 series of Rocephin shots last week. She is resistant to Amoxicillan, Augmentin, Omnicef and Zithromax and it now appears that her body is resisting Rocephin which killsboth good and bad bacteria. The tears just keep falling as I write this because I hate to see her in pain and now we are literally out of options. We are going to have to see if her body fights this with her own antibodies and vitamins because they can't put ear tubes in until the ear infection is cleared up. I am not looking forward to the upcoming nights because I know they will be excruciatingly painful for her. And, unfortunately after being up with Clara all night Dave woke up really sick this morning so we may have to take him to the ER. He can't keep any food or liquid down. Sigh...days like this I wish I could see God...that he could just hug us and tell us everything will be ok. :(

Monday, July 19, 2010

The Toilet Seat Lid

Scene: Grocery Store @ about 8:00 p.m. last night.

Me, D, Clara & Aunt Paige had just finished up buying literally everything at Wal-Mart shopping and were headed out to Princess Snow White (My Trailblazer). We seriously had so many things because you know how that goes when you're moving into a new house...the grill breaks, you lost certain gadgets and still hadn't remembered toothpaste etc. So anyways, we literally had 3 cart fulls of stuff so naturally we needed to try and smush as much into the back of Princess Snow White as possible. Well I was second in the train of carts and all of a sudden I see D pull out a toilet seat lid from the back of the SUV (now let me tell you this was not a new toilet seat...that I would have been fine with... but this was a used one from one of the toilets in our house that was broketn).

                                                         The Culprit


So naturally I freaked out and yelled "why on earth is there a used toilet seat in the back of my car!" calmly asked him "why is there a used toilet seat lid in my car?"

Well at this point I really didn't want to make a scene but I was mortified that he would have that disgusting thing rolling around all this time in my car and I didn't even know about it! I mean who knows or wants to even think about what the previous owner of a house had on his toilet seats!! He then explained that he had to leave it in there because it was a weird size and he was trying to find a place that had a match...I still don't understand why he didn't just leave it in his car but that is another issue for another day I figured. All I knew is that I wanted it out of my car!!!

Meanwhile, Paige was calmly loading everything into the car trying to not get involved until D decided to run over and freak his sister out by pretending to rub it on her arm.

D: "Watch out for the poop Paige!! Poop! Poop! Poop!" (Oh yes, we are mature individuals in this family) :)

While this was going on, I was hurridly rearranging grocery items so I could get some empty sacks to put that disgusting thing in and throw it away for good and to save poor Paige!!

So, D finally laid it back down and I carefully tried to maneuver it into triple layered grocery sacks making sure not to touch even one little piece of it when all of a sudden I noticed something. Oh yes everyone...you know what I'm talking about...it did in fact have a mysterious substance on the side of it, and in all of D's fun he had looked at the top and the bottom of the seat but failed to notice what was on the side.

At this point I showed my newfound discovery to D and all of a sudden that honorey smile disappeared.

D: "Oh my gosh...I've been carrying that thing bare handed all through Home Depot and Lowe's and showing it to their employees!!!!!!"

We all started laughing sooooo hard because at that point there was just not too much he could do about it and he had to live with the fact that he had been carrying around a poo toilet seat all around town without even covering it!!  Then, it was even cuter because we looked over and Clara was rocking back and forth in the cart laughing hysterically in her cute little wrinkeled up nose, baby way.

So my friends, I will be sanitizing the back of my car from top to bottom tonight which totally will not be fun, but my poor hubby has to live with the fact that he carried around a poo toilet seat lid to who knows how many different places in KC never realizing what he was actually holding!!

So, in true "Big Daddy" movie quotes fashion...."I win." :)

Friday, July 16, 2010

Five Question Friday

There are too many fun things to blog about on Friday...but today I decided to go for Five Question Friday! :)



And we're off...

1. Do you collect anything?
I used to collect Breyer horses...I'm sure you all have heard of those before (ha!) :) No, but I loved them when I was little...we had horses growing up and so I was just absolutely in love with all horses..real and pretend.

I'm pretty sure I had like all of these lol. You all laugh now but just wait...20 years or so and I'm going to have a small fortune I'm sure from these bad boys lol. :)

2. Name 3 celebrities that you find good looking.

Uh ohhhh....Close your eyes D! (just kidding...I know this is not new news to you lol)

1. Edward from twilight
2. Edward from twilight
3. Edward from twilight
However, let me clarify...I do not like him in real life...just as a vampire.K? :)

*And on a side note..sorry JoJo & Meg...I know that is tough for team Jacob's to hear!

3. Do you have any scars? If so, what's the story behind it (them?)?

I have a scar on the 4th finger on my right hand and for anyone who knows me in college they can testify this is a true story as embarrassing as it was. I worked at sonic and was learning to skate. Well...one day as I was cruising around in my hot orange rollar blades...oh yes. I.Was.Awesome.ha! I fell during our busy lunch hour and as I was falling I reached for one of the signs. Welllll those signs have sharp edges so I collapsed in a heap on the cement with blood running down my arm and a chilli dog and french fries all over my lap...AND....here is the best part...the lady I was bringing the meal too (instead of getting out at helping me) got all furious that I spilled her meal and drove off while having an "anger fest." So I did what all girls would do in that situation....I cried I got up and brushed myself off and headed inside for a band aid.

               Oh sonic...I will forever remember you due to this permanent reminder on my right hand.



4. What is a food that you like to eat, but others might think it's gross or weird?

Ummm...light miracle whip and tomato sandwiches??? Is that weird?? Not sure but they are Yummmmmmmyyyy! And when I was prego with Clara I have no idea why I loved these, but I craved these gas station chicken finger bites in all their greasy glory. :-P
5. Have you ever seen a tornado in real life?
 
Oh my gosh....this question cracks me up because its my DREAM. Seriously...anyone who even knows me in real life knows I always say when its thunderstoming. I would love to SEE a tornado just not be in one!!!! Seriously I've told God so many times if I could just see a tornado before I die and if it wasn't coming at me I would be forever grateful. My cousin even dated one of the "Twister Sisters" and so I was super excited because I always thought that if they got married maybe she could take me on one of her expeditions so you can imagine how disappointed I was when their love sizzled out. Boo. :) So the answer to this question is no...but hopefully YES someday!! :)
 

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Shalalalala....

Don't be scared, you've got to move your head...go on and kiss the girl..woahohohhhhh :)

Why am I singing you all my absolutely-favorite-Disney song from "The Little Mermaid" you are probably asking right now??? Wellllllll let me tell you! :)


My little stinker gave *this girl* AKA: proudest mom in the world, her first kiss today!!! :)

It was seriously the cutest thing evvvveeerrr in the whole wide world, and not just because she's my daughter I'm sure (ha!) No, but I think you all would have really thought it as well...I wish I could have caught the moment on camera but instead I will just have to take a 'mental picture' (The Office Anyone??Jim & Pam's wedding?).

So...here is how it happened...I was walking out of the kitchen with Clara on my hip, ready to leave when all of a sudden I heard and felt a *smack* like two lips together and then a complete giggle outburst....she had kissed me on my shoulder and then just completely must have known how oh-so-cutely-adorable she was being and couldn't stop giggling at herself. I seriously had one of those mom moments where I knew I was sooooo going to tell everyone I knew but really only her parents could appreciate it...So, consider yourselves the receiver of my proud momma moment that you probably do not care about quite as much as me but I still wanted to tell you anyways. Mmmmmmmmmmmk?? :)

So with that I'll leave you once again with the oh-so catching.....Shalalalalala...move your head...my baby gave me my first kiss ever....oh yes she did...she kissed her mom....lol :) How do you like that for song improvisation? :)

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

From the Crib of Clara Grace (Edition 5)

Hey Everyone! Clara Grace here...I know it's been a while but oh boy have we been busy! Andddd I've had the worst sore throat evvverrrr  and more ear infection buggars so I've been a bit of a cranky pants lately. Enter this story. :)

We were at Target and mom knew I had been feeling just terrible so she wanted to find me a wonderful toy to play with. We looked at all the amazing  toys they had to choose from and finally found one.

Here I am modeling it for you all! ;)


However, mom kept trying to give me this other weird thing that was inside of my toy....


But I wanted nothing to do with that crazy looking thing!!


I was having farrrrr to much fun with my new toy!!


Then she gave me the directions to see all of the supposedly cool things this "weird deal inside my toy" could do....
But that was no fun either...so I just went ahead and ate those. :)

Finally since she still wasn't getting the hint I finally just made my escape from this weird weird thing-a-ma-bob!
And went back to playing with my new toy!! :)


Mom even joined me finally....see mom...I told you this new toy was great!! :)


     I hope everyone is having a great Wednesday and until next time...this is Clara Grace...signing out! :)




*Editor's note - I had no idea how much fun little Clara would have playing with a box....and how little fun she would have playing with the actual toy....I did eventually just give up and play along with her "new box" adventures. I figured if you can't beat em' join em'! :)


For other "From the Crib of Clara Grace" editions...go here :)

http://ambersdawn.blogspot.com/2010/06/from-crib-of-clara-grace-edition-4.html
http://ambersdawn.blogspot.com/2010/03/from-crib-of-clara-grace-edition-2.html
http://ambersdawn.blogspot.com/2009/12/from-desk-of-clara-grace.html

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

On A Scale of 1 to 10...

I give today a -3.

I think tomorrow I will look back on today and laugh. If not tomorrow; hopefully next week.

Without boring you with the details...sometimes it feels like the whole universe is against me working.This morning started with me and my little Clara bear riding to work in the back of a Lincoln Town car, chauffeured by a man I can only assume used to be the head of the KC mafia.

Something very similar to this bad boy


Let me explain that a bit. :)

I couldn't find my keys. Anywhere. And, while a day at home with my daughter sounded like SOOO much more fun than working; getting fired did not sound like much fun at all. So...in the hopes of not bothering my hubby at a job he does actually enjoy, I called my momma. Now, I don't know how your mom's are but mine is "not so much" with the Internet. :) However, she is getting better...go mom! So I asked if she could try and find me a taxi service around my house (because our Internet is not hooked up yet). She actually found one really quickly...so I excitedly called them. The man on the other line said a driver would be there in 15 minutes.

"Wow." I thought to myself.."Now that was easy."

Well..when the driver arrived I could literally see the smoke billowing out of the windows. As I approached the car a man stepped out...and, in a typical Russian accent...the man exclaimed...

"OH MY GO*...You have a baby with you!?!?!"

Our driver...j/k

I didn't figure that was the best sign...so I responded...

"Are you a taxi service? I mean...is this what your job is because I can call someone else if I had the wrong number????"

To which he responded...

"Sure."

I wasn't quite sure how to take that...like "Sure...I'm actually in the mafia and can typically be found carrying bodies in the trunk of my car, but I would love to help you and your little girl get to work and daycare today."

But, I really didn't have any other choice if I wanted to get to work at all that day, so, I fastened my little precious cargo in and said the LONGEST.PRAYER.OF.MY.LIFE!!!!

Needless to say...we made it, and I actually thought it was kindof cute...I know that taxi drivers/ex-mafia members are probably not the safest drivers but he kept looking back to see how little clara was doing while carefully looking left and right various times before turning. He also drove much slower than any taxi cab I've ever ridden in...so overall the trip itself wasn't too bad; it was just the whole situation...

I mean never in a million years would I have guessed that my morning would have started, with me, Clara, and an ex-mafia member heading to work with a trail of smoke signaling where we'd been...at least someone could have easily tracked us I guess. :)

Friday, July 2, 2010

The Comment

New Friend Fridays


Today is New Friend Friday again at The Girl Creative...and while that is really a fun enough post in itself I have to write about another situation because something happened yesterday that I had to speak about...

Me and Clara were busy enjoying our Orange Chicken & rice (Me the Orange Chicken & Clara the rice ;) ) when a lady at the table next to me said "Enjoy her now...when she gets older she will be a pain in your (insert explicative)."

My thought: Okay um...1) that comment was extremely out of line and 2) completely untrue and 3) Did you seriously just call my preciousss litte squishyyyy pumpkin britches clarabear an A double dollar sign!?!?!.

And while I wanted to walk up and smush my orange chicken and rice bowl all over her mean mean face I didn't (you're welcome mom...:)) I just kept thinking of Eph 4:29: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth, but only that which is helpful in building others up." I actually knew that if I said anything it would not in anyway be building her up so I just smiled. That type of smile that looks like Chandler Bing all awkward and fake (remember that episode with him and Monica take their engagement pictures...ahhh I miss that show!!)

Anyways..I swear though, I was SO mad! It wasn't a selfish anger (like I've written about before) or anger because something didn't go my way but it was a "Jesus flipping over taxpayer tables in the temple righteous sort of anger that flared up in me!"

No, but seriously, does not Psalm 127:3 say "Childen are a heritage from the Lord...a blessing." And I believe that!! Wholeheartedly. Does raising a child come with challenges? Absolutely. Are there going to be periods when Clara just wants to rebel? I'm sure of it. But never, in any circumstance would I ever describe her in such a horrible way.

It made me so thankful for my mom. Even though my dad went to heaven when I was little, and even though she raised me and my sister as a single mom for 14 years, I never, ever, ever heard her say anything but how thankful she was for us. Even in our most rebellious seasons. Even when I continually broke my curfew and dated people she did not think were good for me to date. Even when I continually put myself in dangerous situations that even now I cannot believe I did. She would love me..and I am so thankful for her example of unconditional love. When by worldly standards...I was acting unlovable. I remember the day she stood in my room with tears running down her face and said..."Amber I love you so much but I just don't know what to do anymore.I'm going to give you the space you need and when you are ready to receive my love I am right here."

It still breaks my heart when I think about her in that moment... so broken by my poor choices.

But she believed and took God at his word; Chidren are meant to be a blessing. So where did we go wrong?Why are people describing their blessings in such a way as the woman yesterday? Why are people aborting their blessings? Why are these blessings being abused and neglected each and every day? Why are our foster children facilities overflowing with these blessings?

I don't know the answer to this question. I wish I did. All I know is this: No matter what happens over the course of Clara's childhood and no matter how many tears I cry over her decisions I will always remember she was a gift. A gift from above; my precious blessing and I will never ever ever let her feel as though she is anything but that.

I love you sweetheart. I am so thankful for you and the ways you have blessed me and your daddy's life.


Thursday, July 1, 2010

A Mature Individual I Am Not

Most days, you would find me sitting behind my desk, talking to clients while reading all of your lovely blogs! However, yesterday was different,  yesterday you would have found me wading through the jungles of the amazon, running from wild animals and learning the ways of the Aborigines....



*Jussssssssssst kidding...we just got plants at work and I was having wayyyy to much fun playing in them!! :)

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