Monday, October 31, 2011

Scarrrry Movies

I'm a scaredy cat at heart.

I slept with my lights on all the way up through college.

Seriously, like the overhead light in my room...not a lamp. 

And, when my roomate would go home on weekends, I'd run over and sleep on Marissa and monica's couch lol (because we lived in an apt that shared a laundry room so that wasn't weird right??) :). But hey, you can't judge because it was just 3 girls in my house growing up and my mom would be the first to admit she probably couldn't have rescued us from any robbers because she'd have to find her glasses first and by that time we'd all have been carried off! :)

So, anyways it's probably odd then, for you to know that I LOVE a good scary movie...but I'm very specific about them. They have to be mainly suspenseful and like maybe only one or two people can get killed and there has to be just like no blood, etc. :) Sooo really if they'd make G rated scary movies I would SOOO be the perfect audience!

That's why on Halloween weekend, it's the one time of year Dave will watch a scary movie with me so it's like a REAL big deal. In fact, our first date when we were only "friends" (lol for anyone who knows the back story to that) we saw Saw 2. Now, this is particularly humorous to me because Dave HATES scary movies and since we were just friends back then he didn't want to share that scary movies terrrrrify him. I think it's so cute still that he agreed to go with me. P.S. Halloween is also Dave's birthday so that made it extra special that he agreed to spend his first birthday with me doing something he hates. Awhhh such a sweet man. :)

SO, fast forward 6 years to present day...It was my annual "go and find a scary movie that isn't actually scary and mainly suspenseful and no blood at all" trip to blockbuster on Friday night. I was trying to explain this to the nice blockbuster employee who looked like this...

I believe his name was Kurt. I'm seriously not even joking at all...he didn't have glasses but the rest of the picture is just about perfect! And I'm not trying to be mean either just realistic. That is what he looked like. (I would also like to add that he must have decided to be "all naturalll" because he smelled a bit like he hadn't worn deoderant in 5 years)

Back to he's kindly trying to understand what on earth I'm explaining to him about the genre of scary movies I like when suddenly he decides on "Legion."

Now, I'd never heard of this movie and in the movie world that's never a good sign.
And it just looked a bit weird.

Okay, but after this nice gentleman had spent so much time listening and looking for the right movie I just couldn't tell him that I didn't want it so I politely thanked "Kurt" and walked out of the store with Legion, and sour apple candy straws (because you have to have those on movie nights!) :)

Okay, so here's the funniest part of the whole thing. Kurt pretty much nailed it.

Because, here's something I didn't mention to Kurt. ...since having little Clara I've tried to even be more cautious about what I watch and look for movies that have happy endings ,and positive messages.

Well, let me give you a brief synopsis of Legion. It's about the apocalypse kindof, but God has finally decided he's going to destroy the earth and michael his archangel tries to convince Him otherwise.So, Michael goes to earth to try and fight with the humans against the forces God sends to destroy the earth. Sounds amazing huh, haha....anyways...while this was technically not a christian movie in any sense of the word and deffinitely not scripturally acurate let me quote you one scene of the movie.

Michael and Gabriel are talking in Heaven

Michael: "All God's ever told us to do was love the people from the beginning of them through their greed, their lust, their murderous love love His people."

WhAt?!?!? Did michael really just say that??? Yes, yes he did my friends.

So, to end this story, I think Kurt may have found me the only movie in Blockbuster with that message....and he pulled it right from the "horror" section.

Well done Kurt...well done.

P.S. In no way do I think anyone should actually go and rent this movie but it just made me laugh that  that was the movie's central theme! :)

Thursday, October 27, 2011

In The Spirit Of Embarassing Myself

Yep...there I am Halloween 1990.:)

. As you can se my mom was not a "go to the store and buy halloween outfits" mom.She was..."Let's see what I have lying around the house and be creative" mom. :) So that's me in a old bridesmaid dress she wore and a crown from Burger King.

(I'm not quite sure what Angela is doing because she looks like a posessed puppy in this picture lol), but she was a little dalmation and see all mom needed for that one...white sweatpants,shirt and a sharpie.

So, essentially it cost nothing...except our dignity. Haha...just kidding mom. :)

So...that got me to can I spend no money but bring out Clara's ...well you know...adorableness!

Enter Cinderella Dress.

Remember how Clara had the Cinderella playdress?

I'm sure you did. :)

I just decided to use that, buy some warm stockings and throw in a crown from her good friend Elli. WALLAH! you have a Halloween outfit. Many of you are probably thinking, "Um, Amber, that's the most uncreative idea ever." And to that I'd have to say "touche my friend" but I am an uncreative soul and I'm not afraid to say it because that's how God made me lol. :)

So as we head into the Halloween weekend have fun and  don't judge me if you see Clara wearindg her Halloween outfit for the remainder of the year. She has decided she doesn't want to take it off since I had her try it on this morning.

CHEESE! & Cheers! & something halloweeney!...oh I know.. Boo!

Monday, October 24, 2011

I'm Number One!

...In Mary Kay Foundation

Our computer is ah-completely-uh-busted. and so for the time being I am going to talk to you about things that do not need pictures. Sounds super exciting right?!? Absolutely.

So continuing with my story. My friend Kendri ASSURED me when I switched to Mary Kay make-up that I wouldn't have to be a number one. I said I just couldn't switch from Clinique (where I am a number 2) to a number one because in make-up world that essentially means you are the lightest person God created which is just medium cool in the skin world where Tan's are the awesomeeest.. Like number one = the equivalent to a snowman when it comes to color.

So...imagine my surprise when I got home from seeing her to open up my new foundation. Yep, right there in bold print Ivory(01)...cry cry cry

Now, most of you are probably thinking that I am making a big deal out of nothing and that I should be happy that I have a face that I can put make up-on (because lets be honest- we all saw the Oprah special with the people who had to have doctors create a face because there's had been burned badly, etc) so I get that argument and I am sorry if this sounds conceited of me but that teensey part inside of me just liked being a number two, which meant someeee people God created were even lighter skinned than me, but now that I've officially moved to Number One Spot I'm really going to have to embrace that I am...of all the people in the world...the fairest skinned of them all. Hey, does that make me like Snow white?? She was the fairest in the land that's pretty  cool I guess...okay so maybe I'm fine with it. She was the fairest in all the land, and I get to be the fairest in Kansas. Wooohoo!!

So, I guess going forward if you hear me yelling...
"I'm Number One!"

You'll all know why and not be concerned about my mental stability or that I'm being prideful.

Nope, you can just tell your friends, she is the lightest skinned person in the land of Kansas and she's embracing it lol..

Okay, no but seriously if you do actually hear me saying that please sit me down and have a mini-talk about how that is not actually a good idea At.All....:)

So, I'm curious, any other Number One's out there!?!? We should start a band or club or something probably...:)

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Want to see the worst birthday gift idea ever?

It was Cerner Days and Dave decided Clara needed this awesome megaphone dealeo - Good in theory...and awful actually lol!!

I have gotten the privelage to hear her "talking" through this megaphone all day every day...I think maybe Dave had a hidden agenda here. :) No, but and with Christmas just around the corner I thought I'd let you all know a megaphone for a two year old is probably not the best idea. And as are welcome. ;)

However, on a serious note...How cute are these guys???

Okay so that wasn't serious at all but aren't they adorable!! So as I mentioned, a certain lady had a birthday party on the agenda...

And...that is all I can show you about the little miss's bday. It has literally taken me about 2 days to download those pictures so once I get this computer situation figured out I will be back to continuing that awesome story. :)

Until then...I'm glad you got to read me.


My best friend in high school always said "I'm glad you got to see me" so do you see what I did there??

Okay, and now I'm really done.


okay now.


Thursday, October 6, 2011

A New Game For Your Toddler!

1. Imagine up a good recipe which your little one can help you make!

(I'll help you...we'll go with Rice Krispie Treats!)

2. Next, let them pour the marshmellows into the pan sitting on low heat (with your help of course!)

3. Once the butter and marshmellows have melted, ask them to help you add the Rice Krispies!

4. Then simply set them on the floor while you combine the mixture together, carefully trying to evenly cover marshmellow yummieness over all the "nakey" rice 

Easy peasy, right?!?

I was literally busy thinking to myself (while stirring) what an amazing mom I was, teaching my daughter all about cooking. And how she was so excited being able to help and so obedient with the instructions I was giving her...I was surely due some sort of  "Amazing Mom Award..."

"Oh no, you guys are too much...I couldn't possibly accept this. Okay I will." :)


While I was busy imagining someone giving me an award for mom of the century Clara (and Fluffy) were busy doing this by my feet....

I kept hearing her say "Sweeem, sweeeem" but didn't take the time to look down and see she'd poured out all the remaining rice krispies and was going for a little "swim" in her apparently imaginary cereal bowl(She really did this quietly as I still can't believe I didn't notice!) Anyways..:)...she was literally kicking back and forth and moving her arms in and out like she was actually was incredibly precious to tell you the truth. :)

Since I knew it was completely too late to stop her I just let her play...and play she did lol! (Her and Fluffy...well actually fluffy just ate them but you know what I mean)

Here she was getting up close and serious with the "krispies;" really examining her little friends. Meanwhile...Fluffy continued eating them.

She discovered that "krispies" can cause a mess on your feet, so for a while she'd pick them off...but then that would get boring so she'd go back to "swimming" or running through them "" Me: "Yes Clara, you are running fast...through the krispies which are slowly invading other parts of the house now too lol!"

She actually spent part of the time scraping them up and putting them back in the bowl...but then after my praises and giving her a hundred 'thank-you hugs' I walked away and saw her excitedly lift the bowl and dump them all out again..."Well..I tried." :)

So, I guess the moral of this story is.....

never pretend you're a superstar when you make rice krispie treats.

(because you will find rice krispies forever in your house and your dog will spend the next day throwing up everywhere)


The End

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