Tuesday, June 19, 2012

A little bit of absurdity...

...that we're going to call audacity.

I had a just completely, crazy week.

So, as I mentioned last post, spiders clearly raised in the Amazon kept attacking me each night-that brought June to a rip'roarin start lol. Then, I'd been running, quite a bit, quite a distance (for at least 'mah self') and started getting dizzy spells. They did an EKG and found out I had a branch bundle blockage that in itself is not worrisome, 1 in 10 eighty-year olds have this but the problem was, I wasn't 80. We ran some tests and so far everything seems awesome ... however, I did not handle that as err, well, as I should have and grew an ulcer the size of antarctia lol, so I wasn't able to keep any food down.

However, all of that is not at all the reason for this post (I'm almost 100% again just for an FYI) -I just want you to have a little backdrop setting for the purpose of this now that I know I'm not going to have a heart-attack this week. :)

Since being home, I've had bits and pieces of what we'll call a...

dream

Martin Luther King style lol.

This all began 3 years ago.

I can tell you exactly when and where it started,
I could name people who confirmed (parts of) it,
and I could say, I continually and constantly receive more revelation into how this is going to work.

My very bestest friends, really don't even know the whole of it though because...

I'm scared.

Like terrified, tinkle in my pants afraid.

Beautiful Amy gave me "Sun Stand Still" which inspired this whole post.

But, right here, I'm making it official by stating what I believe to be true. What I believe God has casted vision to in my heart and will not be deterred (however if you see me being deterred please remind me of this post lol)!

As most people know, it felt like my heart was being ripped out every time I had to leave Clara that first year but God made a way for me to be home. Yay! End of story...just kidding.:)

Much started happening after that moment and I realized God was giving me a vision...

A place where mom's who desired to be home would come. We'd set up financial plans for them that were specific to their families income and set parameter's as to how long it would be before they could be home. We'd have a counselor on site available for the overwhelmed mom's (which is probably like each of us at least once a week lol) and a coffee bar just because coffee is fun (and maybe a red bull fridge for mom's like me). :) This is not an 8-5 childcare center because not all mom's work 8-5. This is round the clock (no idea what that actually looks like) but it's available for mom's who need overnight childcare.Also-if familie's need to take on two jobs to make being home a reality they know they will be safe here. It is not however going to look like a childcare center, it is a huge home, with an economy sized kitchen, a giant fireplace when you walk in and a table that seats 20 because that's what I want kids to understand - this is their home away from home.

Before everyone calls me crazy I want you to know I am my biggest critic. I myself, call myself crazy! I don't know how this is all going to work, or even if I'll see it happen in my generation but even if me and Dave are just laying the groudwork, I'm going to believe this is the end result.

A home away from home, while families save to be home
(that will not however be the slogan lol)

I also want you to know that I never in my wildest dreams could have conjured up something this bizzare...seriously I couldn't have. I've had lots of "baby dreams" that I know I made up and watched come crashing to their end quite quickly lol.

No...this is something different. It started small..miracle after miracle happend...it got bigger...and bigger..and now we're going to believe this house will sell so we can buy the land we need for this dream.

Here's the coolest part - sometimes when you feel you've been given a vision but no one else see's it, it can be a bit....discouraging....just a bit. :)

But, let me tell you - the biggest feet on the floor man you'll ever meet - my sweet hubby - was driving home a couple weeks ago when BAM!

He got it too.

And - his vision slid in perfectly next to mine.

I can tell you sweet friends...

...God's up to something here in the Guderian household and I just can't wait to see what He has up his sleeve! Believe me though - if this take 60 years to come to fruition I want to keep believing-keep walking -keep working towards "Home-again Shenanigans"! :)



1 comment:

Amy said...

Oh Amber I just love you to pieces!! You keep believin' girlfriend. I love your honesty. I love your willingness to follow. I love your ability to make me laugh though it all. We'll walk the journey with you, girl. I just love it when you know God is up to something!!! xoxo

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